Thursday, March 29, 2012

Living...

I am sure that I could come up with a catchier title for this post next to "Living...", but that is what this is all going to be about. Living. With my religious convictions being of the LDS faith, there are many teachings that offer peace and solace for life. Hope being one of them. Hope, that there will come a time when all does not have to be tried and tested. There are times I wish that I could just "arrive" at the end of the trials, and there would be rainbows and sunshine forever. But this is not the plan, this is not Living.

I will give a brief synopsis of my "living" over the last 3 years:

I was a single mother. My husband and I put all our hopes and dreams out there to open our own physical therapy clinic. He was gone for anywhere between 12 and 15 hours per day, to come home, and kiss me goodnight before I fell asleep. Four forty five am was the only time I could have time to myself and I spent it working out and training for half marathons and other races. I would come home from the gym just in time to see Todd for about 30 whole minutes. He would leave for work, and I would start my day getting kids ready for school, and prepping my oldest for our daily battle of homeschooling.

Ethan, our oldest is speech delayed. The teacher at the local school let him fall through the cracks by 3 grade levels before I yanked him out of public school to do my best by him. He wasn't happy about any form of school. It was a negative in his book. After driving 3 of the kids to school, it was Ethan, Megan and I to face the day. School was frequently interrupted with phone calls to the "clinic". My home office was the computer in the kitchen on the counter top next to the math and history book. I worked Tuesdays and Fridays at the clinic doing massages for 4-6 hours.

This was my life for about 18 months. Then I hit a brick wall. I couldn't function anymore. Despite how many caffeine pills, vitamins and energy drinks I consumed, my body would have been satisfied to sleep all day. I thought it was depression, so I quickly sought out a prescription. After raising the dose 2 months in a row, my doctor wanted a more thorough exam. The conclusion was under active thyroid, and low progesterone, coupled with situational depression. I thought that was it. We had found the problem! Take the necessary meds, and voila`! Oh no.... not that easy.

Fast forward 18 more months. Eighteen more months of a lowered immune system from a low functioning thyroid. Eighteen months of colds, coughs, strep throat, mono, pneumonia, impetigo, antibiotic reactions, sinus infections, bronchitis, and kidney stones... Eighteen months of constantly adjusting doses of armour thyroid, celexa, and progesterone. Eighteen months of pure chaos for a born organized person. Eighteen months of hell.

Those eighteen months just finished up about the first week of March 2012. Ethan went back to public school in October 2011, and is doing so well! I went back to my roots of some basic homeopathic care of myself and have remained healthy for about 2 months. I have arrived, I hope... for now. I would never want to be idle for too long, that would be boring! Where would the living be?

Living provides experience; joys, happiness, sadness, ingenuity ,heartbreak, tolerance, empathy, charity,and love for others. Living gives us perspective, and allows us to bear each others' burdens, and lighten the load. We can  have compassion on others, and we learn not to judge, compare or contrast ourselves with others. Living has taught me I am capable of so much! It has shown me where my priorities are, and that stopping to smell the roses needs to happen more often then 'occasionally'.

1 comments:

Angie said...

April you are wonderful! You are my own personal SuperWoman. Who can keep up with a teenager, 5 young children, two dogs, a cat, a self employed husband, and a house to boot? Who can maintain exercise regimes and compete in challenging races in addition to all the aforementioned tasks??? That would be You! I can only imagine how out of whack a body can be when you have that kind of stress and pressure! Thinking of you and I am so happy that you are feeling better!